You have been away for more than two months already, but it feels like years. I am still in pain, and I guess, this pain will linger on until you extinguish it with your presence. The distance between us helped me realize how important you are to me. But it made me open my world to a different level of pain. You took a part of me when you left. So only your presence can make me whole again.
I do not love you because you do things that makes me feel comfortable, happy and secure. I love you. No explanations needed. I do not need to find a reason why I feel this way. I just do. I believe that finding the reason for loving reduces it to simply a product of the "reason". I love you not for anything else. I just know it in my heart.
I love you even if you are not physically present. I love you even if you can no longer do things for me. I love you even if we don't talk often. I love you even if you can't make me laugh as often as you used to. I love you even if I have to make coffee on my own, even if I have to deal with every day life alone. I love you even if you snore. I love you even if you have grown your hair long. I love you even when you switches from one channel to another. I love you even when you refuses to grant my requests.
I love YOU.
Showing posts with label Love letter. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Love letter. Show all posts
Saturday, November 10, 2007
Friday, November 2, 2007
A test
Today I feel so gloomy. Probably because I was not able to talk to you last night. You know, I always look forward to Friday. Because Friday is the only time that I can gaze at your face for a longer period of time, drink in the sweetness of your voice and be assured through your words. Without the usual Friday, I feel that my week is not complete. Every after our "Friday moment", I feel energized. I am so full of energy that lasts for a whole week.
I am still going through something emotionally. I have always been like this, emotional. And the only person who can truly understand, tolerate and make me feel good is you. I have often referred to you and our daughter, my strength. In every sense of the word, it is true. I look forward to the future because of you. I have almost lost my direction, but I managed to steer my life in the right way because of you. Clearly, you are the reason why i am still breathing.
So imagine how difficult it is for me to live away from you. I am half awake, half alive. And it breaks my heart whenever infidelity crosses my mind. But I believe you. You have often reassured me that you will not go astray. I trust you.
I love you.
I am still going through something emotionally. I have always been like this, emotional. And the only person who can truly understand, tolerate and make me feel good is you. I have often referred to you and our daughter, my strength. In every sense of the word, it is true. I look forward to the future because of you. I have almost lost my direction, but I managed to steer my life in the right way because of you. Clearly, you are the reason why i am still breathing.
So imagine how difficult it is for me to live away from you. I am half awake, half alive. And it breaks my heart whenever infidelity crosses my mind. But I believe you. You have often reassured me that you will not go astray. I trust you.
I love you.
Saturday, October 27, 2007
Ours
It took me almost a week to write you another letter. I couldn't bring myself to do so, 'cause every time I try to start, a lump in my throat forms. But I have, I need to. I want to share my feelings with you.
There are a lot of things going on in my mind now. I have been reconnecting with old friends, and I realized many things through them. No matter how perfect someone else life looks, it is still not perfect. Some are blessed financially, but this cannot compensate with the emptiness they feel inside their home. Some are not happy with their marriage, others do not have anyone to share their success with.
Our marriage is like them too. We are blessed with this special bond, but financially, we have to struggle. Which made you work somewhere else, some far away place. If I have to chose between a blessed relationship and financial blessings, I wouldn't trade what we have with any material thing. Even when we are miles away, I can feel the warmth of your love. No amount of material abundance could ever make me feel this warmth, just you.
Yesterday, I cried when I watched the story of someone's wife who died in a mall explosion. They were just like us. Young couple with one daughter. She died and their dreams died with her. I wouldn't want that to happen with us. If I have to die early, I would want to spend my remaining days with you. Building memories which you can hold on to, forever. But if we can not afford that luxury yet, I would have to content myself with just writing you. And sending you messages every day, if not every hour. To let you feel my love. And every time I tell you that I love you, I mean it. Every part of me means it.
I know you know me so well. I do not have to tell you things in detail, because before I do, you have blurted them out already. A lot of times while watching TV or simply passing time, I would think of something, but before I have voiced them out, I find you sharing to me the same thoughts that crossed my mind. Even with our eyes, we convey our thoughts and we understand. This kind of understanding that we share never ceases to amaze me.
We do not have a perfect life. We cannot afford yet, to be beside each other. But I am contented, because what you have offered me, what we have is almost the perfect love.
I love you.
There are a lot of things going on in my mind now. I have been reconnecting with old friends, and I realized many things through them. No matter how perfect someone else life looks, it is still not perfect. Some are blessed financially, but this cannot compensate with the emptiness they feel inside their home. Some are not happy with their marriage, others do not have anyone to share their success with.
Our marriage is like them too. We are blessed with this special bond, but financially, we have to struggle. Which made you work somewhere else, some far away place. If I have to chose between a blessed relationship and financial blessings, I wouldn't trade what we have with any material thing. Even when we are miles away, I can feel the warmth of your love. No amount of material abundance could ever make me feel this warmth, just you.
Yesterday, I cried when I watched the story of someone's wife who died in a mall explosion. They were just like us. Young couple with one daughter. She died and their dreams died with her. I wouldn't want that to happen with us. If I have to die early, I would want to spend my remaining days with you. Building memories which you can hold on to, forever. But if we can not afford that luxury yet, I would have to content myself with just writing you. And sending you messages every day, if not every hour. To let you feel my love. And every time I tell you that I love you, I mean it. Every part of me means it.
I know you know me so well. I do not have to tell you things in detail, because before I do, you have blurted them out already. A lot of times while watching TV or simply passing time, I would think of something, but before I have voiced them out, I find you sharing to me the same thoughts that crossed my mind. Even with our eyes, we convey our thoughts and we understand. This kind of understanding that we share never ceases to amaze me.
We do not have a perfect life. We cannot afford yet, to be beside each other. But I am contented, because what you have offered me, what we have is almost the perfect love.
I love you.
Tuesday, October 23, 2007
A Start
I promised I will write to you everyday. But I haven't written a single word for you the past two months. I have contented myself with text messages and online calls. I don't want to bother you with my ever changing mood because I know you worry too much about me. I am always emotional and you have been my pillar of strength. You may not be able to lay your eyes on this at once, but I know in my heart, eventually, you will. So today, I am starting a love letter that will take three years to finish. Three years.
October 17, 1999. We spent the night watching the stars, talking about everything. I know you were tired from work, but you chose to stay awake with me. And since then, you never left my side. Despite the struggles that we have to face, the criticisms that we have to endure, we remained together. Who would have thought that we would last this long? Maybe for the people around us, it was just a fleeting feeling, but for us, it was real. Our marriage is not a fairy tale. We have arguments, we have problems, terrible problems, but the reason why we are still together is all because of you. You never gave up on me. You are always willing to forgive and to forget. When I have failed you, you welcomed me with open arms, no questions asked.
My eyes are starting to swell with tears already. It is difficult for me to put into words my feelings right now. I just wanted to cry and be comforted in your loving arms. But I couldn't make you come home like I always do. Not yet.
I was selfish to quit my job and drive you away from home. But I wanted you to find your own wings too. Even if no words were spoken about how you feel, I know. And I hate it that you feel that way. I want you to feel proud and be proud of who you are. No matter what happens, you will always find us here, waiting for you with open arms. No questions asked. Just like you always do.
October 17, 1999. We spent the night watching the stars, talking about everything. I know you were tired from work, but you chose to stay awake with me. And since then, you never left my side. Despite the struggles that we have to face, the criticisms that we have to endure, we remained together. Who would have thought that we would last this long? Maybe for the people around us, it was just a fleeting feeling, but for us, it was real. Our marriage is not a fairy tale. We have arguments, we have problems, terrible problems, but the reason why we are still together is all because of you. You never gave up on me. You are always willing to forgive and to forget. When I have failed you, you welcomed me with open arms, no questions asked.
My eyes are starting to swell with tears already. It is difficult for me to put into words my feelings right now. I just wanted to cry and be comforted in your loving arms. But I couldn't make you come home like I always do. Not yet.
I was selfish to quit my job and drive you away from home. But I wanted you to find your own wings too. Even if no words were spoken about how you feel, I know. And I hate it that you feel that way. I want you to feel proud and be proud of who you are. No matter what happens, you will always find us here, waiting for you with open arms. No questions asked. Just like you always do.
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