Saturday, November 10, 2007

I love you

You have been away for more than two months already, but it feels like years. I am still in pain, and I guess, this pain will linger on until you extinguish it with your presence. The distance between us helped me realize how important you are to me. But it made me open my world to a different level of pain. You took a part of me when you left. So only your presence can make me whole again.

I do not love you because you do things that makes me feel comfortable, happy and secure. I love you. No explanations needed. I do not need to find a reason why I feel this way. I just do. I believe that finding the reason for loving reduces it to simply a product of the "reason". I love you not for anything else. I just know it in my heart.

I love you even if you are not physically present. I love you even if you can no longer do things for me. I love you even if we don't talk often. I love you even if you can't make me laugh as often as you used to. I love you even if I have to make coffee on my own, even if I have to deal with every day life alone. I love you even if you snore. I love you even if you have grown your hair long. I love you even when you switches from one channel to another. I love you even when you refuses to grant my requests.

I love YOU.

Friday, November 2, 2007

A test

Today I feel so gloomy. Probably because I was not able to talk to you last night. You know, I always look forward to Friday. Because Friday is the only time that I can gaze at your face for a longer period of time, drink in the sweetness of your voice and be assured through your words. Without the usual Friday, I feel that my week is not complete. Every after our "Friday moment", I feel energized. I am so full of energy that lasts for a whole week.

I am still going through something emotionally. I have always been like this, emotional. And the only person who can truly understand, tolerate and make me feel good is you. I have often referred to you and our daughter, my strength. In every sense of the word, it is true. I look forward to the future because of you. I have almost lost my direction, but I managed to steer my life in the right way because of you. Clearly, you are the reason why i am still breathing.

So imagine how difficult it is for me to live away from you. I am half awake, half alive. And it breaks my heart whenever infidelity crosses my mind. But I believe you. You have often reassured me that you will not go astray. I trust you.

I love you.