A Start

I promised I will write to you everyday. But I haven't written a single word for you the past two months. I have contented myself with text messages and online calls. I don't want to bother you with my ever changing mood because I know you worry too much about me. I am always emotional and you have been my pillar of strength. You may not be able to lay your eyes on this at once, but I know in my heart, eventually, you will. So today, I am starting a love letter that will take three years to finish. Three years.

October 17, 1999. We spent the night watching the stars, talking about everything. I know you were tired from work, but you chose to stay awake with me. And since then, you never left my side. Despite the struggles that we have to face, the criticisms that we have to endure, we remained together. Who would have thought that we would last this long? Maybe for the people around us, it was just a fleeting feeling, but for us, it was real. Our marriage is not a fairy tale. We have arguments, we have problems, terrible problems, but the reason why we are still together is all because of you. You never gave up on me. You are always willing to forgive and to forget. When I have failed you, you welcomed me with open arms, no questions asked.

My eyes are starting to swell with tears already. It is difficult for me to put into words my feelings right now. I just wanted to cry and be comforted in your loving arms. But I couldn't make you come home like I always do. Not yet.

I was selfish to quit my job and drive you away from home. But I wanted you to find your own wings too. Even if no words were spoken about how you feel, I know. And I hate it that you feel that way. I want you to feel proud and be proud of who you are. No matter what happens, you will always find us here, waiting for you with open arms. No questions asked. Just like you always do.